Dear Chara, How Do I Prepare Myself For A Real Relationship? - Response...

Hey Beautiful — great question!

Before you get into a real relationship, you’ve gotta have a real relationship with yourself and with God first. That’s your foundation. Here’s how I’d encourage you to prepare:

✨ 1️⃣ Know Who You Are in Christ.
Spend time learning how God sees you — worthy, chosen, loved, and valuable. When you know your worth, you won’t settle for half-baked love or entertain confusion.

✨ 2️⃣ Heal What Needs Healing.
Sis, don’t drag old wounds into a new situation. Process your past experiences — whether it’s heartbreak, rejection, insecurity, or trauma. Get therapy if you need it. Pray through it. Journal it. Heal it.

✨ 3️⃣ Get Clear on What You Actually Want.
Not what looks good on Instagram or what your friends say you need. What you need to thrive emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and yes — one day, physically within marriage.

✨ 4️⃣ Build a Life You Love.
A good relationship won’t complete you — it’ll complement the full, joyful, purpose-filled life you’re already building.

✨ 5️⃣ Surround Yourself with Wise Counsel.
Have married couples you admire and friends who won’t cosign foolishness. You need people who’ll pray for you and keep it real.

When you do these things, you won’t be waiting for a relationship — you’ll be preparing to add someone to the goodness God is already doing in your life.

And that, sis, is how you stay hot, holy, and whole. 🔥✨

Now, here is what you are really looking for in an answer, because I can just tell LOL. 

Take your time getting to know the person by allowing him to be himself. And you should focus on being yourself. Don't start off by going broke trying to impress him because you will have to keep that charade up and that gets taxing and exhausting. Keep yourself up naturally, but do it because that's what you do, not because you just want to impress. Impress him with immaterial things not material things. Learn things like good communication skills, learn and understand your personality type, know what you like and dislike and don't be ashamed to share these. When you are dating, find out what you both have in common, but also find out what you don't have in common so that you can know in advance if you are able to deal with what you don't have in common. Make sure you both have the same idea when it comes to religion because you want to be equally yoked. Learn how to handle disagreements in a healthy way - this one is very important. Get a check-up on your health and make sure he gets one too (if y'all get serious). Knowing each other's health background is important. Make sure you are able to financially take care of you whether you are in a relationship or not. It's nice to have someone who can take care of you, but you need to be able to make it in this world on your own. Then when you both come together, you can put what you have together. Make a list of what is important to you as far as values and morals. Don't go against your values and morals to please a person for a relationship. If he really wants the relationship, he will respect your values and morals. You will need to respect his. 

Finally, my sister, have fun in the dating process and don't overly think it, don't rush it, respect boundaries, and set boundaries! 

I hope this help!

Stay Single, Saved, and Satisfied!

Chara "Your Hot & Holy Hype Woman (for Christian Marriages)"