Dear Chara: How Do I Keep the ‘Hot’ in a Holy Marriage? Response...

Sis! This is my favorite thing to talk about!

Listen… if nobody’s told you, it’s possible and it’s beautiful. You don’t have to pick between holy and hot — you were made for both! And God is smiling when both happens because He ordained marriage and sex in marriage. 

✨ 1️⃣ Give Yourself Permission.
Desiring passion and pleasure in marriage is godly. Full stop. God wired you that way.

✨ 2️⃣ Get Creative.
Have theme nights (90s slow jams, spa night, love note scavenger hunt), make a Christian couples playlist, or — if y’all bold — role-play Esther and King Xerxes for date night 😏.

✨ 3️⃣ Use Tools Made for Holy Marriages.
Grab one of my lead magnets, check out my Hot & Holy Kits, or dive into the Ask Chara blog for ideas that honor God and light up your marriage bed.

You’re not just married — you’re ministry partners with benefits. 🔥👑💍

Know your limits and the biblical restrictions (God restricts the "who" not the "how" or the "what"). Ask questions about your spouse desires. Allow him to share openly without judgement and you share as well. Discuss some things you would like to try to see his reactions and then the both of you can come up with some ideas to try together. This is private time between the two of you. If you try something that you both didn't like, you can agree to never try it again or if it was hot you can agree to keep it as part of your hot and holy time together. 

Remember your marriage bed is undefiled - as long as you don't violate by adding another person! Have fun! Be spontaneous, be adventurous! You can keep it Hot & Holy!

~Chara "Your Hot & Holy Hype Woman (for Christian Marriages)